Tuesday, November 10, 2009

"Marriage is like a pet boa constrictor..."

"...either you feed it every day or bad things happen."

I found this quote in a marriage article on MSN. Hilarious, but defintely some truth to it.

The article talked about 4 things to make your marriage spectacular. Here they are:
1. Understand each others' needs. Share your expectations with each other so that your spouse can try to meet those expectation.
2. Show him some love. Guys need affirmation. Pay him compliments.
3. Take 10. 10 minutes out of every day to just sit and talk. Not about chores or kids or bills. Anything where you can learn something will help you bond. Whether it's discussing what super power you'd want or recent political happenings.
4. Focus on the good. That doesn't mean you can't ever speak anything negative, but the good should outweigh the bad.

Now, I know that we have a lot to learn and there is always room for improvement, but I must say that I think we do pretty well at all of these things. It's just normal for us. But it's kinda sad because for so many couples, stuff like this is a big step. And it can do a lot to save their marriage. Like, this article didn't revolutionize our marriage by any means, but it could definitely do that for a lot of couples.

Even in the church today, so many people don't know how to interact with their spouse. It amazes me when I hear Christian women talking bad about their husband. Or Christian men talking down to their wives. In public! I mean, I know we haven't even been married quite 2 years, and that I'm still very young, but I know better than that.

Micah and I have talked about this a lot lately b/c we've been going through a class on marriage on Sunday mornings. And we've come to the conclusion that there is definitely always room for improvement, but that we have a better handle on our marriage than a lot of people who have been married for as long as I've been alive. And we've figured out why that is. We both have really good examples to follow.

My parents have been together since they were like, 14 years old. They got married young. In most cases, especially today, these marriages never last very long. My parents are still very happily married and flirt and goof around like they're still teenagers. I don't think I've ever seen my parents fight, which is something that is rare for anyone to be able to say. Unless you count the frequent wrestling matches. lol. *Funny story real quick:: I'm not joking about these wrestling matches. They happen quite often, and it's hilarious. Mom puts up a good fight and all, but she really has no chance. Sorry Mom, but you know it's true. lol. Well, there was one night years ago when they were wrestling around and Morgan, who was maybe 7 or 8, says "Why do yall fight so much? Yall are always fighting!" My reply was "Who are you and what family have you been living with all your life?" She didn't understand that they were just playing around. We still make fun of her for that. lol*

Micah's parents still have a very good relationship. They are another case in which, were it to happen today, it probably wouldn't last very long. I'm not sure the exact numbers, but I think they only dated for like 2 weeks before getting engaged. Ridiculous, right? lol. They got married like, 2 months after that. Crazy. Today, no one would expect that to last very long. But theirs has. Granted, I don't get to be around them that much, but I can tell just from the few weeks that I've been at their house or that they've been here that they have a great relationship.

So we're both very thankful for the examples that our parents have given us about how to treat each other and how to have a "spectacular" marriage. And I didn't need an article on MSN to tell me that. =)

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